Review of Colin Gets Promoted and Dooms the World by Mark Waddell

I requested the eARC for Colin Gets Promoted and Dooms the World purely on the basis of its title, and Mark Waddell did not disappoint. This is a book that delivers exactly what I expected—which is to say, I knew going in that this book would not be groundbreaking in any way, and that’s fine. It was exactly the kind of absurdist fantasy I was hoping for.

Colin is a low-level employee of Dark Enterprises, which does exactly what it sounds like. Under threat of termination (literally), Colin receives an offer he can’t refuse from an entity who claims it can help him. Soon he finds himself firmly on track towards middle management—but Dark Enterprises is cutthroat, and Colin might not be cut out for this track. Oh, and that entity? Now going to eat all of humanity. Oops, I guess?

Obvious comps are Christopher Moore, but honestly this book reminds me too of Matthew Hughes’s The Damned Busters, especially the end of the trilogy. Colin gives me big Chesney Arnstruther energy. He’s a remarkably unlikable protagonist, snivelling and emotionally immature. Oh, you were bullied as a kid so now you want absolute power and dominion to make the world pay? Put up or shut up, kid. Colin’s congenital inability to follow through on his grandiose designs would make him insufferable if it weren’t for the fact that the other characters are excellent foils.

Indeed, my most serious criticism here is simply that Colin isn’t really the hero we need. Whenever he prevails in the story, it’s either luck or the actions of someone else. While I certainly don’t demand that my protagonists be classically heroic—flawed and “ordinary” protagonists are amazing—I do want them to be interesting. And Colin isn’t that.

Similarly, as I mentioned at the start of the review, this book does not offer any kind of twist or surprise. From start to finish, I found the plot, the jokes, the world entirely predictable. Now, in this case, I don’t see this as a negative! There is room for books like this aplenty—why else would cozy beach reads exist? This is basically beach-read fantasy; it even has a romantic HEA that gets telegraphed from about a hundred kilometres away!

So at the risk of damning with faint praise, that’s where I will leave this review: if you want some clever absurdist fantasy that compares corporate jobs to working in a soul-sucking industry, then Colin Gets Promoted and Dooms the World is right for you. Waddell is a competent comedic storyteller, and he nails every element of this genre. Just don’t expect it to deliver anything more than that.