Review of Being Aro: A Collection of Aromantic Fiction About Love, Connection, and Empowerment by Madeline Dyer and Rosiee Thor

A few years after the enjoyable Being Ace anthology, Madeline Dyer is back and joins forces with Rosiee Thor for this companion anthology, Being Aro. This collection features twelve short stories, along with an introduction by Julie Sondra Decker. About the only thing the stories have in common is that the protagonist is arospec. Other than that, some are contemporary, others are science fiction or fantasy or historical, and they are all very fun. I received an eARC from NetGalley in return for a review.

The opening story, “Kimberly Ma Meets Her Match,” by Ann Zhao, author of Dear Wendy, grabbed me from the beginning. It’s such an understated story, and it ends so abruptly and left me wanting more—in a good way. Give me a whole novel with Kimberly! But seriously, Zhao gives us a questioning protagonist who is just trying to figure things out, and it is cute and ever-so-slightly heartbreaking.

That motif of heartbreak reverberates throughout Being Aro, I find. Some of these stories are very sad; others are more upbeat and even humorous. All of them acknowledge, however, the challenges inherent in being aromantic in a society that privileges romantic love. As an aro person myself, I actually had a hard time reading all these stories back to back (which is why it took me a while to get through this collection), because each one felt like another—albeit very fresh—punch in the gut. (Indeed, “Indulge the Other,” by Laura Pohl, was hard for me to get through because it was just so sad and bleak.) This is not a criticism, by the way, but rather praise for how well these authors all manage to develop aromantic themes in such limited space.

“Joust Friends,” by Rosiee Thor, is a great example of this. Once again, the plot itself is very simple: two friends go to a Renaissance fair, they have a tiff, and they split up. There’s some drama; the protagonist is exploring their gender identity and expression and runs into kids from school. It’s a whole thing.

In contrast, “Paper Rebellions,” by Rukman Ragas, is set in a fantasy world with a character who can transform books into living dragons. Their aromantic identity, while important, isn’t the main focus of the plot, which is much more a debate about the best way to fight fascism and what makes someone a collaborator. The scope and setting of this story is markedly different, yet it’s still ultimately a story of heartbreak, loss, and rediscovery.

Then there’s “Flying Solo,” by Claudie Arseneault, in which the title pulls double duty for the main character’s sexuality as well as his career choices. I really enjoyed reading a science fiction story by Arseneault, who brings her usual level of creativity and humanity to the tale.

There’s a great diversity in the protagonists and where they find themselves on the aro spectrum. Some are aroace like me. Some are demi, grey, or questioning. A few have fully accepted their identity and are even flourishing with it. A few find it quixotic, challenging, even dislike it. All of these feelings are valid.

Romance is having a moment and, in romantasy, encroaching on one of my beloved genres! I don’t begrudge anyone who enjoys reading romance. Yet as Decker notes in her introduction, when we assume that romance is a necessary ingredient in storytelling, it erases aromantic people—and it also devalues all the stories where other forms of relationships are in the foreground. At times, it reinforces heteronormativity. Yet even when we talk about queer love, too often there is an emphasis on romance because we want queer characters to have happy romantic endings to challenge that heteronormativity. And I get it, I really do—but there’s so many more possibilities.

Being Aro is an ode to those possibilities. Although none of the stories stands out to me, individually, as being something I’d discuss at length, all of them collected together form a powerful and broad exploration of aromanticism. I really enjoyed reading new stories from familiar authors and discovering some new names as well.